Fear & Fertility
Updated: Oct 20, 2019
Fear is described as an unpleasant feeling triggered by the perception of danger or threat, real or imagined.
Well as many of you may experience, including myself when I was on my own fertility journey, fear can become a big part of that. What if this never happens for me, if I don’t become a mother, what does the future hold, will I be ok?
On our journey to pregnancy or parenthood whatever path that takes, the fear of that not happening becomes very real and very raw. Our thinking becomes magnified around this fear and our fertility. Often what it is we are experiencing is not only that fear of not becoming a mother or father, it is maybe some of the other fears we hold in the memory center of our brain and all the emotions attached to that based on previous life experiences that becomes part of our overall big fear of the situation we are in with infertility.
Infertility in its broad terms is something we have little control over. As many of us have found in life we strive and strain and push to achieve many things in life, things we can control – our drive to achieve at school and then go on to further our education, our careers, our desire to travel, to maybe go and live in a faraway country, our choices around our relationships and friendships and yet the one thing we have little control over is conception. There is an element of surrender that must come into it yet when you want something so much and if you have been trying for some time and its not flowing or tragically you
are experiencing loss, fear sets in. This fear can quickly spiral into grief and sadness, emotions that can be truly overwhelming.
Feeling fearful is totally understandable yet it does not make the situation any easier, in fact it can make it downright impossible. Having this fear of not being able to conceive is not conducive to a relaxed mind and body to help conception. It will most likely increase stress levels and a raft of other negative emotions that make the fertility journey grueling, heart wrenching and exhausting emotionally.
And so this is where tools like EFT tapping or Clinical Hypnotherapy or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy become vital tools for your tool kit just like nutrition, acupuncture and if needed medical assistance on your journey to pregnancy.
Addressing your mind, your emotions and your stress levels and in particular your fears will ensure that you feel better in yourself, more resilient, less thinking and self talk about the worst-case scenario.
Without this raw fear you will feel open to the possibility that you will be ok regardless of where the journey ends. You are not your fears and you are not your thinking. Facing this very real fear on your fertility journey will free you up to have more space for hope, find that place of peace in your heart and mind and once medically there are no known barriers or challenges to conception, nurture more positive thinking that the possibility of pregnancy is absolutely possible.